Langgam Pos - Life’s major challenges, whether joyous like weddings or the birth of a child, or painful like accidents, illness, or death, offer invaluable lessons. These experiences have the potential to profoundly impact our lives, and if we pay close attention, they can even transform our world, one step at a time.
The Essence of Love in Critical Moments
A few days after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, I had lunch with a friend who, with tears in her eyes, pointed out something poignant: "None of the passengers on those hijacked planes called their stockbrokers when they had the chance to make a call." This wasn’t said in jest, but to highlight a profound truth—when faced with life-or-death situations, only one thing truly matters: love. In those moments, people don’t think about their appearance, financial portfolios, or trivial complaints. They focus solely on love. This raises a critical question: Why do we live our lives as if love isn't the most important thing?
As Christopher Morley aptly put it, "If everyone were told they had five minutes left to live, and given that time to express what truly matters to them, every phone booth would be filled with people trying to reach others to say they love them."
Life’s Milestones: A Reminder of Love’s Importance
Weddings often remind us of the importance of love. There's something about attending a wedding that rekindles the bond between couples, as they hold hands, reflecting on their own relationships. It’s a moment that encourages us to think about the nature of love and connection. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if couples held hands more often, just like they do at weddings?
Similarly, significant life events, such as the birth of a child, can bridge even the most profound divides. A friend once shared how her parents, who hadn’t spoken to each other in over ten years, came together at the birth of their grandchild. The joy of new life softened their bitterness and replaced it with mutual respect. It served as a reminder that life's larger issues are far more significant than the minor conflicts that often divide us.
The Transformative Power of Crisis
In a previous book, I wrote about Jim and Yvonne, who had been unhappy in their marriage for over thirty years. Then one day, Jim was diagnosed with cancer. This news caused a sudden shift in their perspective. The anger and bitterness that had dominated their relationship were replaced by love and a newfound appreciation for one another. This transformation begs the question: Did their love ever truly disappear, or was it simply buried under a focus on the wrong things? Could it be that a major crisis was needed to bring it back to the surface?
The Fleeting Nature of Life
Big challenges also remind us of the brevity and preciousness of life. Attend any funeral, and you’ll hear reflections on how quickly life passes. At a recent graduation party, I heard many express disbelief at how quickly the years had flown by. The same sentiment was echoed at a retirement party I attended. It’s a reminder to slow down and savor life’s moments, rather than rushing through them, only to feel regret when they’re gone.
The Importance of Kindness and Generosity
Another lesson often learned from major challenges is the importance of kindness and generosity. Tragic events often bring out the best in people, showcasing extraordinary acts of generosity and selflessness. After a disaster, it’s not uncommon to see people give until it hurts or to witness children donate their favorite toys to those in need. Such acts of kindness highlight the inherent goodness in humanity.
For instance, when a friend of ours had a baby, the community came together, providing meals and assistance. The kindness they showed was almost as beautiful as the newborn child. Similarly, during a friend’s wedding, I was touched by how another friend, despite her busy schedule, dedicated a week to help with preparations, finding joy in every moment of it. This level of kindness is something we can strive to bring into our everyday lives, making it a priority.
Embracing Life’s Lessons
Whether we are directly involved or not, big challenges are always around us, offering lessons if we are willing to learn. Just as school educates children, life’s big challenges educate us, pushing us to new levels of understanding and growth. But we must be open to these lessons, embracing the opportunities they provide to improve ourselves and the world around us.
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